Festive Cheer

Well folk another week closer to Christmas and until about 48 hours ago I was very excited. My shopping is almost done, our turkey is ordered and I have been excitedly reworking my Christmas playlists which I am going to start listening to on the 1st of December. So, what happened 48 hours ago I hear you all ask?? I caught a nasty bug and now have a stinking cold! They type that makes your ears hurt and you struggle to keep your eyes open all day and then some how at night can never sleep. It would be fair to say that I am not in a happy place at the moment and have decided that for this weeks blog I wanted to find something that would make me laugh and I found a few little funny Technology stories and jokes that brought a smile to my bright red and blotchy face.

The Frog

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

The Sultan

The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then,when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways.

Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him P&O Ferries.

Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like something to watch films on." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him MGM Studios and their cinemas, where he watched all his favourite Western Movies.

Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son, who had caught the 'Western' movie bug, replied, "Daddy,I would like a cowboy outfit." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father went and bought him Microsoft.

App of the Week - Battleship

I am a big fan of traditional games which is why I adore today’s app of the week – Battleship which is a bargain 59p.You can launch strikes with touch-driven precision and witness 3D guns blazing and smoke-billowing carriers sinking to their dooms. A great little 5 minutes to spare game.

Engage in the authentic Classic Mode or fire at will in the intense Salvo Mode.

Employ an array of lethal power in Super Weapons Mode or deploy your secret unlocked weapons for Multiplayer supremacy.

Sink competitor’s battleships with Hotseat, two-player WiFi, Bluetooth, and Pass & Play capabilities.

Demonstrate strategic and tactical skills to earn Super Weapons. Improve your rank from Seaman all the way to fully-fledged Admiral!

Why Alchemist?

We are always asked by potential clients - Why Alchemist? Why Outsource? What makes you special? These are questions that most businesses are asked and I thought I would put down a few of our answers in this week’s blog. Beside the standard answers – ‘we can save you money!’ Which let’s be honest every business in the world claims this, so I thought I would give you a bit more and explain why I believe we are the best IT company around for Small to Medium local business.

Benefit from access to a whole team not just one or two people - When you have in-house IT support you will perhaps get the benefit of one or two IT people – when you outsource your IT to Alchemist you get the benefit of our entire team’s knowledge and skills which total over 50 years of IT experience. We can give you advice on keeping up to date with the break-neck speed which technology moves and ensure you stay ahead of your competition.

Gain access to extremely wide and specialised skills set - With our large team of diverse engineers there are very few IT problems they have not come across during their many years of IT experience this can benefit your business greatly. We can offer you a very high level and large skill set from simply setting up a wireless network or installing a VoIP phone system to extremely complex high-end IT solutions.

One Stop Shop - Our services are so varied now that we can provide you with all your business IT & Communication services - Broadband, Phone System, System Support, Spam Filters, Back-Up and much more meaning that we are the only company you need to deal with for all your business IT & comms needs. If there are any issues and calls need to be made to external companies we will deal with these for you – ensuring your attention is 100% on your business 100% of the time.

We help your business grow - When you have an IT issue it is so problematic and disruptive for all your staff. Your management team will probably have to get involved in trying to fix the problem, they may have to phone several companies and hotlines trying to find a solution to the problem – wasting your time and the time of your staff. With Alchemist you simply pick up the phone and call us, we will respond quickly and do everything to ensure that your team are back up and running again as quickly as possible.

Established Track record - Alchemist was founded in 2003 by 2 well respected local guys and has always had an outstanding reputation in Dumfries and Galloway as one of ‘The’ IT companies in the region to provide your business with a professional, friendly and knowledgeable service. This has continued and grown further since opening our Glasgow office in 2007. We still have many of the same customers today that we had when the business first started almost 8 years ago – which we are very proud of.

Last but by no means least - We're brilliant and can save you money

Did you know we are an Official Acronis Partner?

Earlier this year our technical team became fully certified as Acronis Partners and I would like to share some of the benefits of this powerful backup solution for your business.

The point of the Acronis software is to minimise the recovery time and disruption if the server ever has to be fully recovered. If there was no Acronis backup image and the server completely failed, we would need to rebuild and configure the server from scratch which could take as long as 1 or 2 days. This would involve reinstalling the operating system, installing all the applications, setting up all the email, printers, users and much more.

Just imagine how your business would cope without its systems and data for a day.

Acronis provides a local backup image, this means that the backup is done from the server onto an external hard disk connected directly to the server, this external hard disk can remain connected. The advantage of having this type of backup alongside your existing backup is the recovery time, if the server was to completely fail it can be recovered within minutes from the backup image. This image is a snapshot of the entire server including the operating system, all the applications and most importantly all of the settings.

Acronis works alongside Alchemist Vault to provide you with the best possible Back-Up and Disaster Recovery plan for your business.